


"I" is for Insanity

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Blood, Convictstuck, Gore, Insane Jake, Insanity, M/M, Murder, Psychopath, Sadstuck, Sociopath, Violence, Yaoi, fantasprite - Freeform, insane, psychopath Jake
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:17:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4509273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since Jake had killed for the first time, he'd become an insane and blood thirsty convict. He had even killed his last cellmate in prison. And that's when he met his new cellmate a boy named Dirk Strider. But things didn't turn out the way he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Blood Thrist

**Author's Note:**

> It is very important that you take the time to read this note. I know that I have put some warnings on my story, but it s very important that you all know that this story is going to be very dark and gruesome. So if the following things trigger you, I do not recommend you read this: suicide, rape, self harm, depressive thoughts/actions, violence, language, gore, and crude language against homosexuality.
> 
> Thanks
> 
> ~Author

Jake hadn't meant to kill anyone. In fact, that was the complete opposite of what he wanted to do. But it wasn't like he had been given much choice. 

It was late at night, and he and his two friends, Jane and Roxy, were having another one of their usual Friday night movie nights. The snacks were all laid out on the short, wooden coffee table in front of them, and the movie was playing on a flatscreen tv. Jake was all curled up in an arm chair, and Roxy and Jane were snuggling together on the couch. It was the same as any other movie night. That is, until there was a large crash upstairs. 

Jake had heard it, and quickly ran into the kitchen, where he knew he had kept a pistol. He had warned Roxy and Jane to hide, it being likely that there was some sort of bugler in the house. He ran into the kitchen, but had a hard time finding the pistol. After a minute, Jake came running back into the other room. As he did, his ears were filled with two, blood chilling screams. They were followed by hollow thumps on the wood floor. His heart seemed to start.

 

_No... Don't let that be what I think it is... god it better not be!_

 

What he found was a gruesome sight. There was a masked man, bloodstained knife in hand. In front of the man was the bloody bodies of both Roxy and Jane. They had been hiding under the couch, now flipped over. But they hadn't just been stabbed. No, they'd been sliced right open. Dark puddles of blood were only growing on the ground. It made Jake want to scream and cry and vomit all at the same time. He could've sworn he could see some of their internal organs peaking out...

Jake looked up at the murder again who had started moving towards him threateningly. And that's when Jake pointed and fired his pistol at the man. He got him straight through the heart. The man jerked back with the force of the bullet, blood spattering onto the tv, the movie still playing in the background. He limply slumped down onto the floor, dead. Jake pulled off the mask of the man. Not anyone he knew. 

There was laughing echoing in the background from the tv, as everything in Jake's world turned upside down. He felt his entire body go numb as he briefly looked back at what used to be his friends, before looking back at the now dead man on his floor. And that's when Jake cracked. A sick smile appeared on his face, spreading ever so slowly. He had a feral look in his eyes, as he started to laugh in a menacing tone. He pressed the tip of his gun to the man's head, before discharging the remaining rounds into his head. Blood was everywhere by the time he was done. It was all over Jake's face. Jake licked a bit off his lip, finding the irony taste to be strangely pleasant. He had just killed the man who killed his friends.  _And he liked it._

 


	2. Welcome to Prison

Jake was now a very strange odd man. He had a bad habit of biting and nibbling on his fingers now whenever he got nervous. He also liked to hide on the top bunk in the cell of two beds whenever the guards came near. Now, this wasn't without reason, but we can get to that later.

Jake had been sentenced to life in prison. In the short time span of maybe about three weeks, Jake had went on a killing spree of anyone and everyone that pushed him around or angered him. With the state of mind he was now trapped in, that ended up being six people- some innocent and some not so much. Either way, he was somehow able to avoid the death sentence. Perhaps it was the fact that he was... well...

Insane.

So now here he was, sitting on top of his bed. The guards had long since given up on trying to coax him out to eat lunch. He just wouldn't come out. He didn't trust the guards at all. The only time he ever really came out was when he really needed to eat, or if they were allowed to take showers. He was almost certain that they put something into the food. He always felt really weird after eating it, and that made him both suspicious and worried. But now there was the sound of heavy footsteps outside his iron barred cell.

Jake perked up at the sound of keys rattling in the keyhole. "I already told you I'm not coming out!" he said in a rough voice, it cracking at the end.

"That's not why we're here," one of the guards said coldly. No one really liked Jake here. He was a pain to guard. If you had the night shift around here you'd hate him too. He had the tendency to scream at night because of the terrible nightmares he would get.

Jake nibbled a little on his fingers, blood going cold as he heard the door open. What  _did_ they want then?

A blonde boy with bright orange eyes was briskly shoved into the cell. He wore an orange jumpsuit that matched his own. The only difference was that this young man's jumpsuit had the name "Strider" sewn into the spot where Jake's had "English".

"Meet your new cellmate English. Dirk Strider. Charged with murder. He's currently on trial, but they had us keep him here for a while until they put him on. Until then, please try not to kill him. You know what happened to the last cellmate. Let's not have a repeat of that."

With that, the cell door slammed loudly shut. The noise startled Jake, despite the fact that he should have been used to it by now. Startled, he bit down hard on his index finger, drawing blood. As the spiky haired male shuffled into the room, Jake stared at him intently and curiously with his big green eyes, sucking the blood off his finger.

Dirk seemed to pay no attention to the brunette on top of the bed, making his way to the opposite side of the room and sitting on the lower bed. Jake sighed. He was about to turn to mind his own business when the other spoke.

"Well, you seem to know what I am in here for. Might I ask what got you in here?"

Jake paused his nibbling yet again.  
"And why the hell are you biting your fingers like that? Doesn't that hurt?"

Jake rolled his eyes and looked away. He was in no mood to talk to a person such as him. They were often too pushy Too curious for his liking. He just wished that people like him would just mind their own business.

After a while of no speaking, the blonde huffed.

"Well if you aren't going to talk to me, you could have just said so. It would have saved me both the time and effort."

Jake turned and glared at the other. "It's not my fault that you chose to make this into some kind of social event. Well, sorry to break it to you, but this is prison. You're stuck here for the time being. So unless you want to find out the hard way why I am here and what happened to my last cellmate, I recommend you keep your mouth shut." Jake bit on his index finger a bit, before giving Dirk a strange smile. "Oh, and I'm sure you know this by now, but the top bunk? It's mine."

With that, Jake turned away completely and admired the artwork on the cell wall he had done with his own blood. None of the guards had been brave enough to venture in and try to clean it away. Not that they really cared. No one really cared about Jake English at this point. He was all alone.


	3. Silence is Golden, or Is It?

It had been three days sine the two cellmates had been introduced. The atmosphere in the cell remained tense all three of those days, and tensions were high. Dirk had grown to be quite bitter, as well as disgusted by Jake's finger biting. Jake, on the other hand, had been screaming all three nights from night terrors. Dirk would hide his face in one of the pillows until a guard was finally able to come and calm him down. How they did so, he never knew. He usually made himself fall asleep before he could ever find out.

Jake had mysteriously gotten more bruised and cut up, not to mention he seemed to become even more withdrawn. Despite the silence, he would often at least mutter a couple things to himself. But this was no longer occurring by the second day, leaving the cell eerily quiet. And so, on the third day, Dirk finally had enough of the silence, and decided to speak up.

"You seriously don't like to talk, do you?" he muttered as the British boy was sitting on top of his bunk, not having moved for the past ten minutes as he stared at the wall. 

Perhaps it wasn't the most keen observation, but it was what Dirk felt needed to be said in order to get some conversation out of the other. This certainly wasn't a normal thing, even for this seemingly insane other. The guards had even seemed surprised about the lack of trouble he'd been giving them. 

But the brunette did something he hadn't done in a while, making eye contact with the blonde. He nodded very slowly with agreement, a finger rested on his lip in thought. Dirk took this as a bit of encouragement, and decided to see where he could take it. 

"Listen... I'm sorry about the other day..."

It occurred to Dirk that perhaps it was more than just guilt he felt towards the other inmate, but sympathy and pity in addition. The screams he heard at night... they were full of pain. It was likely that if guards didn't interfere that he would scream until he could no longer scream. They were the screams of one who had seen hell and lived through it. Something that he too could relate to. 

Jake gave a simple nod in response, provoking a frown to spread across Dirk's face. 

"It's not heathy to be so quiet you know..." he insisted softly, trying to calm his tone as he stood up as he stood just below Jake's bed and looked up at his green eyes. "Even if you're stuck with someone like me... you should make the effort."

But Jake didn't seem to take to Dirk's words. He pulled his legs up onto the bed so they no longer dangled. Perhaps he did this in the fear Dirk would try to do something to them, or the fact that he simply was trying to send the hint to Dirk that he wished to be alone. Either way, Dirk's frown deepened further, and the smaller boy curled up on his raised bed. 

Dirk sighed softly and returned to his bed, saddened by the fact that his efforts had amounted to nothing. He tried not to blame himself too much. Perhaps Jake was right. Maybe Dirk should just stop trying, and just harden up a bit- learn to be more independent. 

Oh, how the irony stings like salt in a wound sometimes. 

Because neither knew just how similar they were, having suffered through their own trials. And while perhaps they didn't show it in the most obvious ways, they still were struggling awfully with it. 

Jake's finger biting was a side effect of a much bigger and more real problem, having nothing to do with insanity or his thirst for blood. Because Jake wasn't insane... right? He could't be _that_ insane...

And Dirk's fear of being alone was result of a much bigger problem in his past. While having grown up being taught that nothing he did would ever be recognized as important, all he wished was to find someone like him. Someone to be friends with.

Two misunderstood souls, wandering the depths of their anguish and sorrow. 

Silence... 

Is it golden?

Or an echoless killer? 


	4. Chapter Three: Discovery

Dirk had all but given up on ever hoping to get another conversation out of his cellmate. Currently, it was lunch of the same day in which he had previously spoken to Jake. He sighed softly to himself as he took a bite of the slop they called lunch. He was almost certain that it was supposed to be some sort of pasta with some unidentifiable fruit, but to be very honest, it could have been human remains and he might not have known the difference.

Dirk was a bit surprised when the other boy didn't show up to lunch. He knew that the Brit hadn't shown up to any meals yet while he had been in prison. He knew that the other male didn't like to eat a lot, for reasons he didn't yet understand, but it looked like earlier that the boy might make an effort to go to lunch. 

The blonde snuck a food bad into the waistband of his pants, hoping that the kind gesture might get the stubborn Brit to warm up to him, and maybe even trust him. He wasn't sure why he was so concerned with this one liking him... But maybe it was the aura that the boy gave off. There seemed to be more to Jake, in Dirk's eyes, than most people cared to look long enough to see. Perhaps tenderness... or maybe even some vulnerability...

There were loud screeches echoing through the hallways. They sounded like...

Jake.

The loud crashing and the sound of what Dirk could easily presume to be metal handcuffs against the heavy bedposts was giving Dirk a very bad feeling. He had heard of abuse being a problem in prisons, but how would have anyone have gotten into their cell? Their cell was kind of special in the way that they always had a guard standing post outside of it- especially with Jake's presumed tendencies. 

The cell door was wide open with no guards in sight. Dirk glared as he immediately recognized the face of the guard that he had come to know as Sam. Sam was the guard that came into their cell every night whenever Jake awoke. And this is the moment that everything clicked in Dirk's head. The way Sam's pants and boxers were down at his knees, and how Jake's pants looked forced down as he was handcuffed very awkwardly to the bed. There was no way it couldn't be misinterpreted. 

Dirk's knuckles turned red and bloody as he yanked Sam off of Jake, slamming him roughly into the wall. His eyes burned with fury and rage, hissing and spitting in the face of the guard. 

"You mother fucking piece of garbage! Is this really how low you lower yourself? I hope this hurts you less than I hope it does so that the second time will be even more painful!" He yelled fiercely as he punched him hard in the nose. There was a very distinct crack as he felt a pop. He very easily could assume that he had broken the guard's nose. The blonde then followed with a swift uppercut to the other's jaw. Another pop could e heard as his jaw was also broken. Dirk's entire hand was red and bloodied as he gave him one last punch to knock him out before dragging the body out and shutting the cell door. Of course, he had been sure to grab the keys to both the cell and the handcuffs.

Dirk's expression was very sympathetic and full of pity as he looked back at his trembling cellmate. He slowly took a step towards Jake, who flinched and whimpered softly.

"Hey... shhhh..." Dirk softly cooed, putting up his hands in a slightly submissive manner. "I'm not going to hurt you... okay?"

Jake didn't make a move. With a small sigh, the spiky-haired blonde decided to take it as a sign that such a movement would be acceptable. His thoughts were right, as the brunette allowed him to come closer. With very gentle fingers, the larger male undid the other's handcuffs. He then, with matching delicateness, examined the other's condition. Luckily h only seemed to have obtained a few minor cuts. Within minutes, he was tending to some of his cuts with a damp towel that he managed to snag from the bathroom. He gave the other his larger spare clothing so that his clothing wouldn't be pressed so close to his skin and irritate the cuts. The other gratefully took them and put them other, but all the while he had not uttered a word. Dirk, of course, didn't blame him. 

Just as Dirk was about to get up from his position sitting next to the other quietly on the bed, English suddenly leaned into Dirk and gave him a loose hug with a slight pink hue in his cheeks.

"Thank you..." he mumbled very softly with the slightest hint of a smile.

Dirk returned the small smile and hugged the other back. "It's no problem..." he rubbed the other's shoulders very gently. Soon, Jake's eyes had fluttered closed and his breathing had slowed. So the Strider, with a bit of a quickened heartbeat, leaned back with Jake's head resting on his chest. The other seemed peacefully asleep.

"Don't worry... I'll protect you..." he whispered and placed the smallest kiss on the other's head. He wouldn't know anyway, him already being in such a deep sleep. 

 


	5. Burning Question

All Jake knew when he woke up was that his ass hurt like hell. It felt like someone had taken a knife to it. Perhaps that would have been a more pleasant feeling, knowing that it wouldn't have been caused by the same man who had forcefully taken his virginity and come back night after night. 

The tanned boy shot up quickly, taking in his surroundings. The familiar cell still remained in tact around him. Except... the bed felt a lot nicer... a lot warmer and a lot more cozy. Jake brought the thin blanket up to his nose, letting out a soft sigh. Would it be so bad just to stay here in bed all day instead of venturing out into the yard?

The bed suddenly shifted under him. Wait no, that's not a bed...

A gentle hand ran its fingers through Jake's brunette locks. "Hey... it's okay Jake..." an equally gentle voice whispered soothingly. Dirk had Jake convinced that everything was just so. 

Jake remembered how Dirk had come in and helped him out after the... incident. A warm feeling spread through his chest, and he relaxed with a small breath. Yes indeed... he felt completely safe with Dirk. It was definintely a strange situation. He never thought he would ever be able to trust another human being in his life left here in prison. But Jake found himself most definitely corrected, and glad to be so. Such a life was lonesome. Isolated. It lacked affection and contentment. 

But how could Jake be saying such things so early on? He hardly knew the other.... They had only been sharing the cell for the past week or so, and most of the time the Brit had ignored Dirk. And yet, things felt so right. He felt as though he could work through his trust issues, even if it was the last thing he would ever do. He would do it for the spiky haired blonde. He would not deny himself this contentment.

"Hey Jake...?" the blonde whispered very softly as a couple minutes had passed since the last time Dirk had spoken. 

Jake opened his eyes as they had fluttered closed when he had relaxed with ease. "Hmm?"

"They came by while you were asleep... said we could take a shower if we wanted... you feel up to it?"

Without even a moment of hesitation, Jake nodded. He felt sticky everywhere from earlier as the lose clothes stuck to his skin from both sweat and well... yeah. That. 

"Alright." 

Jake noticed a strange expression pass over Dirk's face, and it made his heart beat faster. It almost looked like the other was about to kiss him... But the blonde simply scooped the other delicately up into his arms with one swift movement as Dirk rose to his feet. Jake's heart dropped a bit. How silly he had been to think of even remotely liking the other. He was almost certain that Dirk was just pitying him. He was probably merely considered the other's weak and insane cellmate, just having been raped without any fighting back.

Jake squeezed his eyes shut, not even minding the throbbing in his cuts and he pushed the thoughts out of his mind. His hips and ass still hurt like hell, and he let out a soft grunt to communicate that to Dirk as the he accidentally placed pressure on it.

Jake English could not be loved. He was insane. A killer. No one loves anyone that kills... or that is insane...


	6. Steamy

The bathroom, one lined with many showers, sinks, and toilet bowls with nothing but frail curtains to protect privacy, was steamy with the humidity of hot showers some others must have taken earlier. That wasn't to say that they were alone either. No, much rather the opposite. With the number of men in this wing of the prison, this bathroom never seemed to be vacant. Likewise, there was also at least five guards standing at the one exit to the large room. Just as any other open space in the prison, as long as it didn't involve escaping, everything else was game.

That, was part of the reason Jake hardly ever saw this room.

Jake might have been feared by some after the incident with his last cellmate, but he was still small and vulnerable. There would be nothing to protect him, nor  _anyone_ for the matter, if two or three bigger prisoners were to gang up on him. Jake might be able to fight them for a little bit, but the Brit wouldn't be able to fend them off for long if they wished to take out their anger on him.

But now things were different. Jake wasn't alone. And as the Strider had proved the other night, he certainly wasn't vulnerable with the blonde around.

As they made their way down the row of showers, they looked for an open curtain to show that the stall was open. All the while, Jake found himself pressing closer and closer to Dirk to seek a slight bit of comfort. There were some inmates, most of whom that were bigger than Jake but smaller than Dirk, who were looking at Jake with a look he couldn't identify as lust or the look that said they wanted to beat the shit out of him. Dirk, noticing the other's tension, gently started to run a hand over Jake's back. Jake's legs tightened around Dirk.

With a sigh, Dirk came to the realization that there was only one stall open. He had thought that perhaps he could serve as some help to the other properly clean the cuts he had acquired from his abuser, but he knew that Jake likely would value privacy. 

Dirk gently pat Jake's unharmed shoulder and whispered softly, "I'm going to set you down now, okay? I'll stand outside the shower and make sure no one comes in."

Dirk slowly started to lower Jake to the ground when he felt hands grip and tug at his shirt. He paused his actions as the brunette spoke up, "Please...." Dirk could see a dark red hue surfacing in and coloring Jake's cheeks. "Could you.... help me please?"

It took Dirk a moment to make sure he had heard correctly, but once he was sure, he nodded sweetly. "Of course... I wouldn't want those cuts to get infected... I don't know what kinds of medications or antibiotics they would be able to use on such things here, and it would be very painful..."

 _"And I really care about you..."_ he wanted to add. But he couldn't seem to say it out loud. A lump in his throat seemed to keep him from speaking those words. Even if there was none, he was sure that his tongue would get tied up and he would stutter like hell. He was positive the other had no feelings towards him. Not to mention the fact that Jake likely only saw him as a person who was slightly better than the others. 

The curtain was parted and closed once more as English was set down soflty. His bare feet made soft tapping sounds on the already wet floor. Now it was Dirk's turn to blush as he looked away, Jake starting to undress. He wasn't sure why exactly why he was being all flustered and embarrassed about it now. It wasn't like this was his first time seeing Jake this way with the events that took place just last night. But perhaps it was the fact this was a voluntary action. In fact, now that Dirk was thinking about it, the fact that Jake wanted Dirk around at all must have meant something, right? It certainly signified trust. If Dirk had been raped in the same manner Jake had, he certainly wouldn't want anyone he didn't feel comfortable around near him. It was a whole other thing that Jake was willing to completely undress around him to help him get cleaned off. 

Dirk wanted to take a big risk right then and there. But he also was trying to be sensitive and understanding about what happened the other night. To reveal his affections for the other right then and there would be selfish and insensitive. Jake already had been traumatized. There was no need to add any other pressures.

"Y-you can look you know.... I don't mind..." Jake offered very softly. 

Dirk didn't even realize he was staring at his feet, which made him squeak very softly. "R-right! Sorry Jake..." 

Dirk reached to a small shelf in the shower to grab a cloth and started the water. Of course, his flustered actions resulted in him getting his prison clothing completely soaked with freezing cold water, as he had forgotten to get undressed and the water was heating up. Dirk backed away from the stream of water, laughing softly and now shivering as water dripped from his clothing and hair. "Not exactly what I had planned but I guess that's just how it will have to be, huh English?" 

Jake smiled, even laughing softly. Dirk swelled with pride. He had managed to get Jake to not just smile, but to  _laugh_. A real, genuine laugh. That, to Dirk, was priceless. 

Still shivering, the blonde waited for the water to warm up. Once it was to Jake's liking, the Brit stepped into the stream of water from the crudely made shower head, rusted slightly from over the years of use. Dirk got the fabric cloth wet and, as gently as possible, started to clean Jake's scratches and wounds. He would hear the occasional whimper and intake of breath, to which he would quickly apologize. 

After the cleaning, Dirk took a bit of shampoo in his hands, and slowly worked it into Jake's lovely dark chestnut locks. This the Brit seemed to enjoy, as he caught a glimpse of the male with his eyes closed. If Dirk massaged Jake's scalp just right, he could hear a very soft sigh and even sometimes a moan. This occurred even when Dirk rinsed the boy's soft hair. 

Dirk couldn't take it anymore. The last moan sent him over the edge with need. He very gently pushed Jake against the cinderblock wall, careful of his cuts and bruises, and brushed his lips over Jake's before pressing them together. He was very gentle about it, and gave Jake a very clear and easy chance to push him away. But Jake didn't.

Jake's arms slowly wrapped around Dirk's neck. His head tilted to the side, the boy kissed the blonde back. 

He actually kissed  _back_.

 

 


End file.
